I have a way of giving too much of my time to other people and not keeping enough time for myself.
Which is funny because I end up meeting some friends at the bar, and I’m flooded with insecurity when I really just want to be at home sitting in my chair, listening to music, and writing in my journal.
These moments led to me being very intentional with my social time, focusing on a couple good friends and quality time with each of them.
But I decided to change this up recently.
Motivated by my blog post about overcoming your fears, rather than stay in Denver and spend time with close friends at their Halloween party, I extended my weekend trip to Southern California for my cousins wedding into an two-week trip making additional stops in San Francisco and San Diego to stay with some friends from college.
Going into it, my Fear-Of-Missing-Out actually made me pretty nervous.
“My bucket is most full when I spend time with my friends in Denver. What am I thinking? We’ve been talking about this party for weeks.”
But the people.
Ah, yes, the people.
There is power in reconnecting with people you haven’t seen in a while, even if you think or know you’re both entirely different now. Though I hadn’t stayed in touch much with everyone I was going to visit, they were so significant at one point of my life.
Why aren’t they now? Or are they still significant now and how do I foster that?
Spending time with these people, you’re reminded of who you were and discover how you’ve grown since. You suddenly have a better understanding of who you are now.
Back in college, I would regularly meet with my professors. I’d pop up during their office hours. We’d talk about philosophy, thought, and just life. Typically, I’d ask a question and absorb all the wisdom I could.
Despite the awkwardness I felt returning to my private Christian college campus after four years, I popped in a few professors’ offices for old time sake, and all of a sudden, I was brought back to my days as a closeted gay kid at this university.
The desire to just feel okay on the inside.
I came out my junior year of college, and these people helped me reconcile my beliefs and the universe’s attitude towards me. I wouldn’t be who I am without them. When my whole life I was told it wasn’t okay to be who I am, they taught me something new.
“Holy shit! I’ve come so far!” I thought to myself.
We are constantly growing as people. Trust yourself more.
I have been so caught up in my current life and making it flourish that I forgot about these old relationships. But in reality you learn a lot about yourself from just spending time with someone you haven’t seen in years.
I didn’t understand their significance at the time, but the value of nostalgia is priceless. Even the smallest amount of goodness, can be the most significant thing when looked at in retrospect.
Value it. Value that. Value relationship.
All relationship can be good. No matter what, you can learn a lot about yourself by interacting with a person. We’re a collection of our experiences and the people that make up these experiences. They are always a part of you.
Is there a situation that you didn’t think you’d make it through?
Are there people you were really close to at one point but you’ve drifted?
There’s power in revisiting those moments or people, physically or just mentally. I invite you to share those with me either in the comments below or by using the contact form at the bottom of the page to send me an email.
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